My Child is NOT being Bullied – Are You Sure?

It seems like only yesterday we were in an age when we sat around the dinner table talking about how our day was; having face-time, play-time and bonding-time. 

Now as we go about our busy lives of convenience—with the mobile phone, the Internet, iPad, laptop, etc.—somehow, some way, our mini-mes  have been reduced to automated, talking heads on steroids.

 Imagine this: TV on, headphones in ear, studying, doing homework, texting BFF while on Facebook—all at the same time.

Is this a picture of your future leader of tomorrow?

The danger that lies within this reality: bullying (face-to-face and cyber-bullying) is a significant problem among our youth, and steadily increasing. 

According to Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of "Parents Do Make A Difference: How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring Hearts," many experts fear bullying has become so widespread and common, adults are blinded to its extensive harm.

Here are the facts from education researchers across the country:

• It is estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students, according to the National Education Association.
• A survey conducted by the American Association of University Women reported that 85% of girls and 76% of boys have been sexually harassed in some form and only 18% of those incidents were perpetrated by an adult.
• Young bullies carry a one-in-four chance of having a criminal record by age 30, according to a study by Leonard Eron and Rowell Huesman.
• One in seven students is either a bully or victim.
• 56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.
• 15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school.
• 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.
• One out of 20 students has seen a student with a gun at school.
• Mean behavior among kids is a universal problem. In a poll of 232 kids in kindergarten through 8th grade at a Connecticut elementary school, every child claimed to have been the victim of at least one schoolmate’s or sibling’s meanness in the previous month.

Last week, the local radio station, V-103 announced Feb. 9, 2011, as National Stop Bullying Day and hosted a town hall meeting via radio addressing the effects of bullying and school violence. 

The station provided an education component for bullying prevention and a resource guide for those who may have been bullied.  From Jaheem Herrera to Bobby Tillman, we have seen, first-hand in the Atlanta area, how this issue can destroy lives and families. 

V-103 has asked all of Atlanta to get involved by taking the Bobby Tillman Pact (click here to download the pledge!) or by have your local school become an environment of  “No Place For Hate”. 

This article is not to scare you, but to add to your toolbox of parenting skills as you parent pro-actively by listening and observing the daily activities of the young people you mold and influence every day.

 The emotional and physical scars left by bullying must be taken seriously. As parents, we can make a difference by believing and listening to young people as they juggle all of the distractions that can keep families from having face-time, play-time and bonding-time.

Teaching strategies that will help children learn to boldly and confidently stand up to bullying and teasing is a way to ensure that they won’t fall prey to this growing epidemic.

Below are some helpful websites about bullying prevention:

BULLYING                
http://www.ncpc.org/topics/bullying
BULLYING 42EXPLORE
http://www.42explore2.com/bully.htm
CYBERBULLYING                    
http://www.ncpc.org/topics/cyberbullying
CYBERPOLICE – CYBERBULLYING       
http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/01500/cyberbullying.html
SCHOOL SAFETY            
http://www.ncpc.org/topics/school-safety
STOP BULLYING NOW
http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=main
WHAT’S WRONG WITH BULLYING?
http://library.thinkquest.org/TQ0312169/intro.html
ANTI-BULLIES: STOP BULLYING NOW!        
http://library.thinkquest.org/06aug/00798/howtostopbeingabully.html
ANTI-BULLYING NETWORK
http://www.antibullying.net/
BULLYING MYTHS – TRUE/FALSE QUIZ
http://www.melissainstitute.org/documents/BullyingMythsQuiz.pdf
OPERATION RESPECT: DON’T LAUGH AT ME
http://www.dontlaugh.org/OUT ON A LIMB – A GUIDE TO GETTING ALONG
http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/conflict/index.html

The following publications were used for this report: Education Week, Aug.-Sept. 1997; ERIC Digest, 1997; Time Magazine, May, 1998; the 1998 Bureau of Justice Statistics; and, the National Center for Education Statistics.